BoJack Horseman and Mr.Peanutbutter: the perfect analogy for Narcissism and Self love.

For years it has been believed that narcissists have very high self-esteem. But with recent year research papers, it’s been assured that there’s no real connection between narcissistic behavior and self-esteem. Whereas, self-love is actually an Expression of higher self-esteem and understanding that we are valuable as individuals; but not more than others. 

The American drama-comedy animated series, BoJack Horseman, successfully depicts this difference between Narcissism and Self Love through the leading character BoJack Horseman and Mr. Peanutbutter. 
BoJack, who is a horse, was a big star in the 90’s family sitcom “Horsin’ Around”, but now is living a lonely(only with one housemate, namely Todd, who he treats very poorly), emotionally struggling life in the present timeline. BoJack being very narcissistic has lost all the people around and is very unhappy inside but having really unhealthy self-esteem levels, he denies it. In fact, he denies any warm, healthy relationship and chooses to feel superior to others. 

Now here, if we carefully watch the episodes of the amazingly written series, we can totally understand what goes through the character BoJack’s mind. One can truly understand that though having all the money, popularity, women, alcohol, a big house, and a good agent, BoJack DOES NOT feel very good about himself. That’s exactly what narcissism is. The person may feel superior to others but they might not necessarily like themselves. 

Another thing that the show portrays is BoJack’s troubled past life. He comes from a very demotivating, toxic, unhealthy parental background and from childhood, seeks the validation of others to feel good about himself; which takes us to another factor of being a narcissist. 

Narcissistic people do not love/accept themselves.

Rather, their sense of superiority depends on other’s opinions about them which in turn makes them very weak and desperate for validation. When they receive such validation, they feel superior and proud. Wherein, when they don’t, they might get angry and behave aggressively. 

Now, let’s come to Mr.Peanutbutter, the yellow Labrador, who is a contemporary star of BoJack and is pretty much as popular as him. But the only difference is, his popularity is consistent, he’s loved by people, he has healthy relationships and has almost zero care about what opinions people have about him(He knows that BoJack thinks poorly of him but he chooses to ignore the fact and tries to be friends with him). The behavior shown by Mr.Peanutbutter may seem a little irritating on-screen as the show is from BoJack’s perspective, but this is what the real self-love looks like!
People who have self-love, also have really high self-esteem.

They value themselves. They know they aren’t perfect, but they accept themselves as they are and aren’t afraid of what people think about them. Their self-love is not based on other’s opinions rather it comes from their interiors. 
The fine line between Narcissism and Self-love can be seen as how much they value the people around them. A narcissist doesn’t necessarily like themselves but thinks themselves as superior to others. They don’t really value others but they do care about opinions.

Whereas, the self-loving person knows their value and also the people around; however, they won’t care about the negative comments as they know them better.

Now, if you watch BoJack, narcissists aren’t really bad people from every aspect. BoJack shows unproblematic behavior in some episodes. Also, you can see him having an internal war with himself to be a better person. But the cause of his narcissism is deep down rooted in his childhood traumas (which he totally should take therapy to resolve).